


Peas in a Pod

by ANGSWIN



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Established Relationship, F/M, Friendship, Non-Linear Narrative, Post HP Epilogue - No Rose or Hugo, Romance, Sherlock: Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22512241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ANGSWIN/pseuds/ANGSWIN
Summary: Senior Auror and Special Investigator Hermione Granger develops an unlikely partnership with both Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade and the infamous Consulting Detective Sherlock Holmes when she becomes the Magical Law Enforcement Liaison with Scotland Yard.Written for the 2019 X-Ship Crossover Relationship Exchange
Relationships: Hermione Granger & Sherlock Holmes, Hermione Granger & Sherlock Holmes & Greg Lestrade, Hermione Granger/Greg Lestrade
Comments: 24
Kudos: 61
Collections: X-Ship - The Crossover Relationship Exchange 2019





	1. Just a Normal Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Meilan_Firaga](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meilan_Firaga/gifts).



> She asked for either a Hermione/Greg or Hermione/Sherlock, so I compromised with a Hermione/Greg pairing (since I have been wanting to write one of those forever!) and a Hermione & Sherlock friendship. I also tried to include most of her likes and requests: fluff, crack, sweet domesticity, happy endings, snarky banter, everyday romance, V-shaped triangles, and unconventional poly arrangements (even though the last two are based more on a friendship component than a romantic or sexual one in this particular story).

The familiar ding of a text notification in the early morning hours was all it took to wake up the couple of light sleepers in the nearby bed. Apparently, dealing with the “easily awakened” curse was the natural state of being for law enforcement officers. After all, they were always on call and basically needed to be ready for action at any time. Apparently the curse did not discriminate between Muggle Inspectors or Magical Aurors, either - especially since one of each lay wrapped up together in the aforementioned bed. At the mobile’s distinctive chime, however, they both dutifully stirred and proceeded to blink the sleep out of their eyes while they assessed their immediate situation. They did this automatically…even though they had worked on a case very late into the previous night and had collapsed into bed with exhaustion only a couple of hours earlier. 

“If that is Sherlock, tell him to bugger off.” Greg’s groggy voice sounded in the darkened room while Hermione reluctantly pulled out of his arms and disengaged their entwined limbs as she pulled the offending mobile…and her wand…from their designated places on her nightstand. “If you didn’t love the bloody irritating bloke so much, I would have him arrested on grounds of disturbing the peace… _my_ peace!” he continued to grouse tiredly.

Hermione quickly cast a _Lumos_ to light up the room before she turned to her husband. “Oh, hush! You care about him just as much as I do. Plus, you know that he has been having a hard time ever since John moved back up North to keep Rosie safe and to try and make amends with his sister.” Hermione gently reprimanded him, but softened the blow with a quick kiss as she also affectionately brushed her fingers through his short silver locks. 

She then immediately focused her attention back on her mobile as she entered her password on the screen. “At any rate, Sherlock normally does not bother us in the middle of the night…not anymore…not unless it is really important,” she murmured distractedly as she swiped left to the appropriate screen to pull up the relevant message. 

“Not since you hexed him with those flying birds the last time he did it just to tell you to pick him up some milk at the grocers.” Greg chuckled quietly at the memory as he finally gave up any further attempt at sleep and also sat up in bed. “That was the greatest day of my life, by the way.” When Hermione looked up from the screen with a raised eyebrow, however, he amended his previous statement. “Besides our wedding day, of course,” he quickly added. 

“Good save,” she responded with a fond smile at the man next to her before the relaxed look completely disappeared off of her face when she finally accessed and read the text. 

_Come at once. Hurt. Bring your potion bag._ _-SH_

Sharp fear for her dear friend stabbed her in the heart and Hermione quickly scrambled out of the bed. “I’ve got to go. Sherlock is in trouble!” she exclaimed urgently.

“What else is new?” Greg stated with a kind of tired resignation even though he also swung his legs off of the bed without hesitation. “I'm coming with you,” he added firmly.

At his wife’s look, he threw up his hands in surrender. “I know that you can take care of yourself…and Sherlock, too. It’s just that…” he paused as he looked around their comfortable bedroom for inspiration for a reasonable excuse to accompany Hermione. He soon realized that he could not think of a convincing lie, so he just told her the truth. “I would just feel better knowing that I am there to have your back if you need me.”

Hermione smiled at his obvious sincerity and kissed him again, quickly but gratefully. “That’s just one of the many reasons why I love you!” she announced. 

The feeling of urgency was still present, though, so Hermione hastily cast an _Accio_ to summon the emergency clothing bag that they had packed and set aside for such unexpected occasions. The couple dressed quickly and Hermione grabbed the requested potions bag as she watched Greg holster his Glock. She knew that he preferred to rely on her usually non-lethal magical skills first…and physical force second. She also knew without a doubt that he would never use the weapon (for which he had received a special dispensation from _the_ British Government himself to carry) except in an emergency. However, it was still nice to have the extra protection when going into an unknown and…quite probable…dangerous situation. Plus, it had saved his life before…and others, as well. Therefore, she did not comment on his choice to arm himself and instead wasted no time in wrapping him in an embrace in order to safely apparate them both to Baker Street as quickly as possible. Sherlock obviously needed their help out of whatever kind of messy situation he had gotten himself into _this_ time. 

~~~~~

Hermione made a point to materialize the two of them into the upstairs bedroom at the Baker Street flat because she knew that the it had been left unused and empty ever since John had moved out for good – except for the period of time after her divorce when she had stayed there herself. Consequently, it was still her usual apparation point whenever she visited Sherlock at his home. After all, she could not take the chance that Mrs. Hudson, who still knew nothing about magic, would see them arrive in such an unconventional manner. 

Hermione knew that she would hate it if she had to _Obliviate_ Sherlock’s kindly landlady. The motherly woman had always been so nice to her – especially when she moved in after she and Ron had finally ended things for good. The woman was wonderful with Greg, as well…even when Sherlock, loveable sociopath that he was, could not be bothered to use common politeness towards the man - such as actually remembering his name from one visit to the next. After a while, however, Hermione really suspected that it was all just a little game that Sherlock played to amuse himself when he was bored...and to get under Greg's skin.

At any rate, Hermione and her new set of boys played fast and loose with the Statute of Secrecy enough as it was. In fact, Hermione had a suspicion that only Mycroft’s unofficial, but still intimidating, interference along with her own hero status and high connections in the Wizarding World had kept the men’s memories intact for so long. Of course, her new marriage offered some protection as well, but they all knew it was for the best not to push their luck and so decided…albeit reluctantly…to continue to leave Mrs. Hudson in the dark about their sometimes less-than-Muggle activities. Thankfully, the landlady was used to all sorts of unusual shenanigans happening around her wayward tenant and she normally just chose to ignore them. After all, she had always known very well that, when it came to Sherlock, sometimes the old saying that "ignorance is bliss" was the best advice to follow. Over time, she had also found that it was quite true for Hermione…and even that very nice Lestrade boy...too!

Nevertheless, on this occasion Hermione did not know what awaited them in Sherlock's flat. Therefore, she cast a silencing spell to conceal the sounds of their approach down the short flight of stairs to it. Meanwhile, as they carefully made their way there, she could not help but to wonder why she still found herself in these crazy kinds of situations quite frequently...even though she was now an adult and the Wizarding War was far behind her. It was not _really_ a mystery, though. In fact, the answer was quite obvious. She knew it had all started when her life had become so irretrievably entangled with those of the two very different muggle detectives in the first place.


	2. It Begins with Sherlock

It began when the Powers That Be at the Ministry of Magic had _finally_ concluded what Hermione had tried to tell them all along. In order to continue to maintain the Statute of Secrecy in an increasingly technologically savvy and public society, the Magical world would…ironically…have to bring some strategically placed Muggles on board to help. It was a valid practice that had already been widely embraced by other Magical Contingencies around the world…plus it was sanctioned by the International Confederacy of Wizards…but the British Ministry had always been reluctant to change. In fact, it had taken even the mostly forward-thinking Kingsley Shacklebolt…and his successor, Percy Weasley…many years after the war to get to that point.

One of the results of that decision was that current Minister Weasley (whom Hermione had always gotten along with quite well, despite the fact that he had been a bit of a prat when they were younger…and that he was now her _ex_ brother-in-law) had asked Senior Auror Hermione Granger to become the official Magical Law Enforcement Liaison for Scotland Yard. Hermione, always eager to connect both the muggle and magical sides of her life, agreed and was assigned to work exclusively with the newly briefed Detective Inspector Lestrade on cases where possible magical involvement was suspected on muggle turf. 

Later, when she learned more about all of the key players involved in the situation, Hermione realized that Mycroft himself must have made that particular suggestion to Percy. After all, the elder Holmes brother had known about her and her skills for years - ever since she had first met Sherlock upon _his_ discovery of the magical world. Plus, the man was also well aware that DI Lestrade was used to dealing with all sorts of unusual and stressful situations…mainly because of his working relationship and friendship with the exact same exasperating younger Holmes brother, as well. Therefore, she was not surprised when Mycroft later admitted that he had been quite confident that the DI could handle the shock of learning about the _other_ side of the world. Additionally, he knew that with the help of their most famous muggleborn witch...who just also happened to be his brother's flatmate…and one of the few people who could keep up with the man and resist the urge to kill him in the process…the joint law enforcement venture was guaranteed to succeed.

As usual, Mycroft had been correct. When he had broken the news of the existence of the magical world to the Inspector himself over tea in his office, he was only slightly surprised at Lestrade’s response. In fact, upon being briefed on such sensitive information, the man had vehemently declared, “I knew it!”

He was even less surprised when the DI’s first eager question about the whole situation was, “Does Sherlock know?”

That answer, of course, was “Yes.” 

~~~~~

An entire society that did its best to remain invisible to the majority of the population was definitely the sort of situation which was going to come to the attention of the stubborn consulting detective sooner or later. In this case, it just happened to be sooner. In fact, it was that very discovery that led to the beginning of his acquaintance, working relationship, and eventual friendship with Hermione. 

Over a period of time, Sherlock, with his keen observational skills, had noticed several locations throughout the city that most of his fellow Londoners seemed to avoid for no particular reason at all. Those places ranged from everything between abandoned department stores to middle lots in respectable residential neighborhoods. However, upon closer examination, Sherlock would occasionally see oddly dressed men or women enter or exit from those supposedly empty places. Consequently, the detective became even more intrigued and he started to study those “invisible” areas with intent despite…or maybe even because of…the intense reactions that occurred whenever he got too close to those particular locations. 

At those times, he noticed that unfamiliar feelings of doubt overwhelmed him and did their best to remind him that he urgently needed to be somewhere else. When he finally realized that those feelings were false implants in his mind, he decided to use his superior intellect to push past the mental barriers and investigate the fascinating phenomena head on. It was then that he stumbled straight into the _Leaky Cauldron._ There he was discovered… in the process of dismantling a magical painting to see how it worked…by a group of young, off-duty Aurors who were in the unfortunate habit of stunning first and asking questions later...especially after a few drinks!

Fortunately for Sherlock and the complete preservation of his brilliant mind, Hermione was still at the office, checking over Harry’s paperwork in order to correct his atrocious spelling before he filed it (apparently her old habits died hard when it came to her best friend). Consequently, she was the most senior officer present when the Junior Aurors brought in the stunned Muggle who had somehow infiltrated the pub’s wards. Since Hermione made a habit of reading the muggle newspapers, as well as the magical ones, in order to stay as well-informed as possible, she recognized the man at once. Accordingly, she pulled rank and took responsibility for the detainee, but not until she had thoroughly raked the young aurors over the coals for their carelessness. After she dismissed the remorseful group and sent them on their way, she quickly contacted then-Minister Shacklebolt with the important information. The man then took it upon himself to gleefully inform Mycroft Holmes, his stuffy contact in the muggle government, that his sibling had just broken the Statute of Secrecy from the non-magical side of things.

However, when the two powerful men finally entered Hermione’s office together, via the Floo, they found the witch and the detective perfectly relaxed in each other's presence as they drank tea and engaged in a lively debate about the effectiveness of scientific deduction in a world where magic trumped logic. Kingsley was not really surprised – especially since Hermione was involved and she had been impressing him since she was just a young teenager. However, Mycroft could hardly believe that his brother could be so well-behaved with a stranger instead of completely alienating her the moment that he had regained consciousness. In fact, he and the woman seemed to get on “like a house on fire,” as Mrs. Hudson would often describe their friendship after she met Hermione for herself. Therefore, from the very beginning, Mycroft was intrigued with the possibilities and consequently resolved to keep an eye on the situation…and on the woman, as well.

At any rate, the end result of that meeting was that both sides saw the silver lining of Sherlock’s newfound knowledge. After much negotiation, it was decided that he would get to keep his memory of the magical world and gain a tour guide of sorts to alleviate his rampant curiosity about it. In exchange, he would have to agree to volunteer his particular brand of crime solving abilities to the Auror Department whenever they should need it. By the time a final agreement had been made, Sherlock had further negotiated his right...with Hermione's support that such a stipulation was only fair...to choose his own cases on which he was willing to consult.

That was how Hermione Granger-Weasley, the savior of his memory and the newest member of “the almost nonexistent number of people whom he could actually tolerate,” became Sherlock’s personal liaison to the magical world. She lent him books, toured Diagon Alley with him, and introduced him to her husband and friends. She even invited him along to some of her crime scenes. However, Sherlock soon deemed most magical crimes as too “boring” and “unimaginative” for a man of his expertise.

“It takes no imagination or finesse at all to simply point a wand and say the two words of a killing curse. Apparently, any ignorant brute can do it.” Sherlock complained to Hermione when she asked why he accepted only the barest minimum of magical cases presented to him. “There is no mystery…no challenge. At best, those cases usually only rank a Three. I need at least a Six to be properly motivated…and an Eight or greater to be _truly_ interested. Apparently muggles, as you call them, have to work harder…and in more interesting ways…in order to achieve the same results. Therefore, they also make better clients. I’ll stick with them.”

Hermione found that she completely understood where he was coming from with his explanation – especially since she often felt that way about her mundane cases, as well. She had never felt that she had been allowed to use the full extent of her abilities with the Aurors simply because most of them were still not really interested in anything to do with the muggle world…including their crime-solving techniques. In fact, because of that, there were many times when she wished that she had never agreed to follow Ron and Harry into the profession when they asked her to do so. However, despite it all, she was very good at what she did. Therefore, she welcomed every opportunity offered to join Sherlock out on his cases so that she could keep all of her skills sharp.

The upside to this arrangement was that Hermione was much happier and satisfied with her chosen profession than she had been for a long time. The downside, however, was that spending time with Sherlock made things difficult with Ron. Her husband had disliked the detective ever since they were introduced.

“He’s a swarmy bloke, Hermione.” Ron told her after that first meeting. “You can’t trust him. He’s too good-looking. He’s only after one thing.”

Hermione knew that Ron was being ridiculous. Sherlock was the exact opposite of “swarmy.” In fact, he was the most forthright person she had ever met…even to the point of usually being tactless and rude about it. In actuality, she was sure the real reason for Ron's pointed dislike was that Sherlock had made several unflattering...but still quite true...observations about his inferiority complex and constant need for validation right at the beginning of their acquaintance. However, the detective had nothing uncomplimentary at all to say to Harry whom he had met at the same time. Ron had not been pleased - especially afterwards when Harry had not agreed with his censure of the man, but had instead called him "a good bloke." 

Plus, regardless of Ron's allegations, Sherlock had not expressed any sexual interest in Hermione whatsoever since they had met…and in nobody else about whom she knew, either. He always seemed to be more concerned with cerebral matters than physical ones. Therefore, she was certain that Ron was just jealous of the man. That was certainly not a new problem in their relationship, though. He had been like that ever since they were kids. His behavior at the Yule Ball that she had attended with Viktor was a prime example...and it certainly was not the only one, either. At any rate, Hermione knew that it was just one of the many reasons why their adult relationship had been floundering for years, as well. The main one, of course, was that they knew that they should have remained friends rather than try to become a couple...much less get married...but both of them were much too stubborn to listen to their own doubts and admit the truth. It was really the only thing that they had in common. 

Things had been especially tense between them ever since Ron had left the Auror department to go to work with George at WWW. Hermione had no problem with his career change - especially since she knew that her brother-in-law had struggled in the years since Fred's death and really needed his younger brother's help. The problem was that Ron could not seem to figure out why she refused to do the same - even though he had just assumed she would quit the Auror Department when he did without even bothering to ask her how she felt about it. Instead, he took it as a personal rejection.

Therefore, the increase in the amount of time that she chose to spend in the muggle world with another man (regardless of the strictly platonic and work-related nature of the relationship) was the final nail in the coffin of her already rocky marriage. She and Ron soon permanently separated and eventually divorced due to “Irreconcilable Differences.” Despite her initial sadness and guilt …failure was something she had always had difficulty with, after all…Hermione soon realized that she felt more relief than anything else when it came to the end of that unsuccessful part of their relationship. Fortunately, despite the end of her marriage, she remained on good terms with Harry and the rest of the Weasleys. Consequently, Hermione hoped that Ron would eventually come around, as well, and want to be friends again. However, she had already decided that she was not going to wait around for him to make that decision. She had done that entirely too often while they were growing up. She needed to be able to finally move on with her own life. 

In the meantime, since Ron had decided to keep the flat that they had formerly shared, Sherlock made a completely unexpected offer for Hermione to occupy the empty bedroom at Baker Street for as long as she liked. Mrs. Hudson was thrilled with the idea of having another woman in the building, and she immediately seconded the offer herself. Hermione found that she just could not resist either of them and accepted the chance graciously. 

She soon found that Sherlock was not a bad flatmate, per se. One just had to be willing to put up with quite a bit of mess, violin music at unpredictable times throughout the day and night, random body parts in the fridge, the occasional violent visitor, and never having any milk for her tea unless she bought it herself. However, Hermione could say, with all honesty, that living with the detective was never boring!


	3. Then Along Comes Lestrade

After Greg had been selected to work with the Magical Law Enforcement department, he found that he was very eager to meet the liaison with whom he would be working. After all, magic was real and he was actually going to be able to work with someone who was an expert in his field...as well as famous in the magical world...according to Mycroft. It was all quite exciting - even though he could not tell anybody about it.

When the time finally came, though, and they met at the scene of his first _unusual_ crime that he thought might require magical assistance, he found that his new partner was not really what he had expected, at all. For some reason, he had not really considered the fact that _he_ might actually be a _she,_ despite the fact that he had worked with the very capable DS Donovan for years. Not that he cared about the gender of his fellow officers, but it was still a bit of a surprise...probably because he had imagined the new liaison as a long-bearded wizard with a staff. Apparently, all of his years as a fantasy reader, especially Tolkien, had left an impression in his mind that was not easily adjusted.

Special Investigator Hermione Granger may not have had either a beard or a staff...but she did have a wand...and she certainly made her own kind of impression. She was _very_ pretty, _very_ personable, _very_ professional…and definitely the biggest surprise of all… _very_ friendly with Sherlock! In fact, the two had arrived at the crime scene together almost immediately after he had texted the special number that Mycroft had given to him in case of a possible magical emergency. That could only mean that they had already been together beforehand, since Greg knew that he had not contacted the consulting detective. In all honesty, he would have actually preferred to keep Sherlock away from his first magical case altogether. Therefore, with that suspicion firmly entrenched in his mind, Greg could not help but watch with a bit of bewildered disbelief when the normally aloof detective even held the crime scene tape out far enough for his petite companion to shuffle underneath - even though Greg had seen the man leave John to scramble through such barriers on his own too many times to count.

“What the Hell? Is that our new SI or does the Freak actually have a girlfriend?” He heard Donovan mutter an echo of his thoughts beside him as she watched the approaching couple, as well. He was too distracted by the new woman’s first words, though, to even reprimand his DS for her unprofessional name calling.

“Oh, Sherlock!” The woman quipped upon first seeing the corpse with the rune-inscribed knife still stuck through his heart. “You always take me to the nicest places.”

“You love it!" the man stated plainly in return. Hermione looked at him with one raised eyebrow, but then gave a shrug of acquiescence that actually elicited a short bark of laughter from the detective. Several shocked uniforms stopped in their tracks at the amazing sound, but none were as dumbfounded as the DI himself when the woman turned and met his eyes with her own twinkling ones before she proceeded to grab Sherlock’s hand to pull him over the rest of the way to where the DI and DS were standing.

Sherlock proceeded to make the introductions. “Lestrade, this is Granger. Hermione, this is…,” Sherlock paused. “Actually, I don’t remember his first name, so just call him Grant…and that’s Donovan.” He added the DS’s name absentmindedly with a little dismissive hand wave towards her direction. 

“It’s Greg!” Lestrade managed to croak out while Donovan just humphed at his rudeness.

Hermione just smiled cheerfully at them both, however, as she held out her hand. “Hello, Greg. Hello, Donovan. It’s Sally, isn’t it?” She paused as they both eyed her wonderingly since her pleasant manners were the complete opposite of her companion's. “Please feel free to call me Hermione," she continued. "I don't like to stand on ceremony. Plus, Mycroft has told me a lot about you both, especially you, Inspector Greg Lestrade...and I have been looking forward to working with you.” Greg noted that her voice was both pleasant and confident as he went to shake her hand…only to be interrupted by Sherlock again.

“Mycroft?” he asked her curtly. “When have you spoken with my brother?”

“Lots of times,” she answered with quite a bit of sauce in her tone. “Most recently was last night, however.” 

Sherlock just looked at her blankly and she sighed with exasperation. “It was after I made you go take a shower because you smelled like sulphur from your little exploding science experiment in the kitchen,” she clarified. Sherlock’s eyes cleared and he nodded at the memory. She then turned back to the DI while Donovan made some sort of strangled sound beside him at the apparent meaning of the exchange between the newcomers. She was not the only one, either.

“Sorry about that,” Hermione apologized as she ignored the looks of both shock and awe from the uniforms and detectives around her. “Shall we go see about that body now?” 

After Greg gave her a thorough walkthrough of the crime scene, Hermione agreed that it seemed suspicious that nothing else was disturbed. There was not even any blood! She suspected that a _Tergeo_ had been cast to siphon it all up. Therefore, she focused on the unusual knife itself. She cast a few revealing spells on it that caused the runes to glow and showed it to be indeed cursed…and thus the murder was proven beyond a doubt to be a magical one. 

Hermione also stopped a hapless uniform from touching the cursed weapon by levitating the knife away from the body and into a magically sealed container for further testing at a later date in a more secure location. Then she proceeded to summon her ghost-like otter patronus and sent it to St. Mungos to notify the morgue there to come and collect the body for identification. After that, Greg watched, extremely impressed, as Hermione slightly modified the memories of Donovan, and the uniforms with them, to forget about the amazing magic they had just seen and heard. To them, it had simply been an ordinary case. However, Greg knew better. In addition to that, he also knew that he was already hooked…on both magic...and on the new SI. 

He knew that there was nothing he could do about his attraction to Hermione, however – especially if she was _with_ Sherlock. He was even magnanimous enough to admit that he could see the appeal that the man might have for her. Sherlock may not have been _nice_ , but he was a _good_ man. Plus, even though Greg was not interested in men himself, he would have to be blind to not realize Sherlock was quite attractive, as well. Add being brilliant and scarily efficient at his job to the list, and it was obvious that the two were perfect together. After all, even after just one case, Greg could tell that Hermione displayed all of those same qualities, as well – with just one exception. Unlike Sherlock, she was genuinely nice and considerate. She proved it when she thanked all of the still slightly dazed uniforms for their hard work…and when she grabbed Greg’s hand to shake it again and tell him what a great job he had done on their first case together.

His good feelings from that interaction all but disappeared, though, when she looked back at Sherlock. “Come along, Holmes,” she prompted with a warm smile. “Let’s get back home to Baker Street. Mrs. Hudson promised to have some fresh biscuits waiting for us, you know.”

 _Home?_ Greg thought incredulously. _They’re not just seeing each other. They actually live together!_

His intense disappointment must have shown on his face, however, because Sherlock paused on his way out and looked at him intently for just a moment…before a wide smirk crossed his features and he turned to follow Hermione.

~~~~~

It was not until they were all together again for the next case before Greg understood the knowing look that he had seen on Sherlock’s face during the previous one. Donovan was not in attendance this time around, since it was obvious from the beginning that the case was a magical one and, consequently, all nonessential personnel were excluded. At any rate, a wand, one that presumably belonged to the victim, had already been found at the scene. In addition to that clue, the body of the unfortunate man was unidentifiable due to the thick yellowish-green liquid and giant blisters that covered it. Everything smelled strongly of petrol, as well. Greg had never seen anything like it...but apparently Hermione had.

"Undiluted bubotuber pus," she had declared after just a glance and a sniff. She then looked down at her hands as she remembered the pain from her own anonymous attack with the stuff in response to Rita Skeeter's lies in the _Daily Prophet_ years earlier. "The poor bastard," she said with feeling as she shook her head in commiseration. "That's such a terrible way to go. The killer must have set up a silencing ward, as well...or the neighbors would have heard his screams." She looked so troubled by the thought that Greg was tempted to wrap his arms around her and comfort her. However, he knew that such an action would seem very unprofessional - especially since they did not know each other that well, yet. Therefore, he settled for simply patting her on the shoulder instead. The simple act of comfort seemed to work, however, because Hermione's eyes cleared and she smiled gratefully at him before she pulled herself together and set to work. 

That smile continued to give Greg a pleasantly warm feeling as he and Hermione carefully collected the evidence to send it off for testing while Sherlock watched. Even though he did not offer to assist, the consulting detective had been annoyingly close all night and had observed the interactions between the DI and the SI like a hawk. Greg did not know what the man was up to, though, not until after Hermione had set the privacy wards to allow the medi-wizards from St. Mungos to collect the body without being seen by the muggles in the neighborhood. Then, after their part of the initial investigation was wrapped up...and they had recovered somewhat from the unpleasantness...he received an unexpected text when he was right in the middle of a conversation with Hermione. 

Somehow they had gotten on the subject of books, and Greg was thrilled to find out that she was also a fan of Tolkien. In fact, she even suspected that the man must have been a wizard himself because he knew too much about so many magical species. For his part, Greg was amazed to find out that so many of what he thought were just fictional characters were actually based on real life beings in the magical world. He also found that he was enjoying their conversation so much that he hated to excuse himself even just long enough to check his message. He was worried that it might be important, however, or related to another case, so his strong sense of duty and responsibility eventually required him to go ahead and do it. When he finally pulled up the offending message, though, he was in for a surprise. 

_Ask her out for coffee...dinner...anything to get that pathetic look off of your face. –SH_

_**What are you on about?** _Greg texted back, unsure if Sherlock was messing with him or not.

_You're mooning over Hermione. It's disturbing. Stop it immediately and ask her out if you must. -SH_

**_You want me to ask your girlfriend out for a date? What is wrong with you?_ **

_Don't be stupid. Open your eyes. Not my girlfriend. –SH_

**_Don't you live together?_ **

_What does that have to do with anything? I used to live with Mycroft, too, and I am certainly not dating him. Now stop being dense...and ask! -SH_

Greg read the last text in disbelief before he glanced up at the detective who nodded at him in a surprisingly conspiratorial manner. Had he really gotten it all so wrong? If so, there was only one way to find out. Just as he opened up his mouth to ask, though, Hermione spoke first.

“If you blokes are done talking about me, then I could really use a cuppa. After all, it’s been a long day. Greg, would you like to join me so that we can continue our discussion? And no, Sherlock, as much as I adore you…you are _not_ invited! You will just poke holes in all of the story plots that we talk about. In fact, why don't you go visit John and Rosie while I'm gone, instead?" Sherlock nodded at that idea and she gave him a grateful hug. "Give them my love," she called after him as he headed out of the crime scene and down to street level in order to catch a cab.

After Greg admitted, a bit sheepishly, that he would love to accompany her, he was treated to a dazzling smile...then to his own embrace. He was confused...but he certainly was not going to complain about the intimate situation. Then Hermione gave a little laugh, told him to "hold on tight" and that hug turned into his very first experience of being squeezed through a tube during their consequent side-apparation to Hermione’s favorite all-night café. After he fought down the resulting nausea and regained his momentum, he realized just what had happened.

"Wow! Magical teleportation in the arms of a beautiful woman! I think that might be the coolest thing that I have ever done," he admitted breathlessly. Hermione just grinned cheerfully again and then led him in from the back alley where they had materialized into the little cafe for the promised cuppa...and maybe some dinner, as well.

~~~~~

That evening in the cafe turned out to be their first date...but it was far from their last one. In fact, they found each other's company to be easy and fun because they had a lot in common right from the beginning. They were both divorced, senior members of the same profession, and had a mutual friend whose exploits made a great conversation booster whenever inspiration for other topics lagged. Besides the fact that they met frequently at crime scenes, they also sought out each other’s company for dinner, the cinema, the theatre, and trips to bookstores. Occasionally they invited Sherlock, as well...and sometimes he even accepted.

Their first kiss happened in the cab on their way home after that night in the cafe since Hermione insisted on seeing where he lived. "I can't apparate to somewhere I have never been, after all," she said with a suggestive smile. Then she leaned forward and let her lips tentatively brush his. Greg, however, unable to believe his luck, returned the gesture with such enthusiasm that they were both grinning madly when they finally separated. 

A couple of months later, their first night together occurred when they took comfort in each other's arms during the intense relief of the aftermath of the harrowing struggle to thwart little Rosie Watson's would-be kidnapping...and to keep her father and godfather from killing the man responsible. 

The first "I love you!" was subsequently murmured, and then echoed, during one of Sherlock's long _danger nights_ that soon followed that event. During that difficult time, they grew closer to both each other and to their friend in the Baker Street flat while they provided the support and distraction that kept Sherlock from slipping back into his old unhealthy habits after John had announced his completely-reasonable-yet-still-painful decision to leave his dangerous life behind in London in order to better protect his daughter from future threats. The problem was that, unfortunately by extension, meant leaving Sherlock, as well.

Despite all of the drama, however, Hermione and Greg's relationship flourished. Consequently, exactly one year after their first date, Greg nervously bent down on one knee in front of her in the very same all-night café where they had their first cuppa together. She said yes, of course - especially since there were no doubts at all this time around - only happiness!

The occasion was made even more joyous for Hermione when Ron attended the wedding with Harry and the rest of the Weasleys...and even offered his sincere congratulations...as well as a few long overdue apologies...afterwards. Finally having that closure with one of her oldest and best friends only added to the perfection of Hermione's special day - especially when it became obvious that Ron was trying to put forth some effort in getting to know Greg, as well. It was still clear, however, from all of the snarky comments and dark looks that passed between her ex-husband and the best man, that the two of them were never going to be friends. 

_It is a small price to pay for such happiness, though_ , Hermione decided as she danced and laughed with each of the men in turn...as well as John (who had returned with her little flower girl for the wedding) and all of the Weasleys, as well. After all, everyone was together and, for once, there had not been even the smallest of murder attempts. That alone was certainly worth celebrating! As a result, she and Greg were able to leave with light hearts for their blissfully relaxing honeymoon in the Caribbean (which was their generous gift from Mycroft - even though he had decided not to attend the ceremony)...and the rest was history.


	4. Really Strange Peas in a Misshapen Pod

Hermione’s trip down memory lane ended and her focus on the present and the task at hand sharpened, as she and Greg reached Sherlock’s door. Inside, they could hear muffled thumps…but nothing else as they assumed their usual defensive position. They each took one side of the door…weapons in hand…as Hermione whispered the spell that violently threw the door back on its hinges. 

“What took you so long?” asked the man who reclined casually in his usual armchair. “Nice entrance by the way,” he continued while, next to him, a large man who sported an obvious broken nose and swollen eyes thumped angrily around in the chair to which he was tied.

Hermione ignored the strange man for a moment, however, as she discreetly slid her wand back into her holster. After all, she knew that if Sherlock had caused the man’s injuries, then he probably deserved it. The detective may have been as exasperating as hell, but he did not harm innocent people. Accordingly, she focused all of her attention back on her wayward friend as she noticed he sported only a few visible scrapes and bruises.

“You bloody wanker!” she exclaimed. “I thought you were in trouble. You implied that you were seriously hurt.” 

“Not me,” Sherlock replied calmly and the two newcomers turned to look back questioningly at the incapacitated man.

“Not him, either. Well…he did fall out of a window earlier, but that’s all,” Sherlock answered their unspoken question with a shrug.

“Oh no! Not again!” Greg exclaimed, as he visually checked over the man in the chair for any injuries that were more serious than the superficial ones that he could see. After all, he had read the situation the same way that Hermione had, but that did not mean that he wanted the man to suffer…unduly. 

“Again?” questioned Hermione as she also determined that the man was structurally intact before she turned back towards Sherlock. “Do intruders regularly exit 221B in such an unorthodox way?”

“Of course not. Don’t be stupid,” the man answered in his usual curt fashion. Hermione had heard the tone so often before, however, that it was no longer possible for her to take offense at it. It was just the way he was. Nevertheless, his voice softened before he continued. “You have obviously been in Lestrade’s bland company for far too long. You need to spend more time with me here at Baker Street in order to restimulate your intellect.” He ignored Greg’s snort of combined humor and indignation at that remark as he focused on the man's wife instead. “To answer your question, however, it only happens when they dare to lay hands on Mrs. Hudson.”

Hermione’s look softened immediately at his implication…and the sudden knowledge of why she had been summoned in the first place. “Where is she? Is she alright?” she asked with increasing concern. 

Sherlock nodded. “I gave her one of the pain potions that you left for me last time…and then one of the sleeping potions, as well.” He correctly interpreted the look she gave him then as he moved to reassure her the best way that he knew how. “Don’t worry. Your secret is still safe from her. I told her that I nicked them out of John’s bag the last time he was here.” 

Hermione noticed that flash of pain that momentarily crossed his face when he mentioned his absent best friend, but it was gone before she could say or do anything about it. Plus, she instinctively knew that Sherlock would not want her to acknowledge his show of sentiment, at any rate. Therefore, she just nodded in understanding as he continued. “She felt well enough to scold me before she went to sleep, but…”

Hermione nodded in understanding. She knew what Sherlock wanted. “I’ll go look in on her. Thank goodness, I brought some extra supplies for you…just in case I needed them…because Merlin only knows what you get up to when left to your own devices for too long.” To prove her point she gestured at the obviously uninvited guest for whom she now felt no sympathy whatsoever. In fact, she actually had to resist the urge to have a go at him herself. She would hate for her own husband to be forced to arrest her for assault, though, so she immediately focused back on Sherlock instead. 

She smiled warmly at the man as she patted the deceptively small bag at her side which both he and Greg knew from experience was bigger on the inside. “It sounds like you did a good job. She might need some of the bruise paste, though…and maybe an implanted memory suggestion that this was all just a nightmare brought on by an overindulgence of her hip soothers.”

“That would probably be for the best,” Sherlock agreed. After all, he knew that Hermione did not like to actually _remove_ memories…even though she was perfectly capable of such an act...and actually authorized to do so...because it reminded her too much of what she had felt the need to do to her parents during her war. Despite the fact that Sherlock considered that to be sentimental nonsense, and would not hesitate to use the skill himself if he possessed it, he also knew that she was willing to compromise, if necessary. She had no qualms about slightly modifying someone’s memories – especially if the act of doing so would keep everyone safe and happy.

The two men watched her exit the room and start to descend the stairs to the main floor flat where Mrs. Hudson lived before Sherlock turned to her husband.

“She’s much too good for you,” he stated matter-of-factly.

Far from being offended, Greg just nodded in agreement. “I know,” he replied honestly. “I also know that Weasley was a bloody fool to let her go and I’m just the lucky son of a bitch who benefited from his stupidity.” He then changed the topic as he looked over at the trussed up intruder. “Back to the matter at hand, though. Who is this bloke anyway?”

“Just a thug out for revenge since I made sure his brother was put away for life. Remember the two children who were murdered on the Powell Estate last year?" Lestrade nodded and his face grew hard and his fists clenched automatically at the thought as he looked at the man in the chair. Knowing that he could not always protect the most innocent of victims was always the worst part of his job...and this piece of shite in front of him was defending a kid killer and hurting old women.

"I think we should drop him out of the window again," he stated quite seriously and the man in question flinched.

“No!” The occupant of the chair actually slumped in relief at Sherlock's denial. The DI looked at the detective in surprise, though, as the man explained his logic. “However, that’s only because Hermione will hex us both if you get blood on your clothes...or your hands.” The implication was clear and Lestrade relaxed a bit at the thought of his wife and her insistence that he at least stay on the right side of the law by doing things by the book...as much as he possibly could around Sherlock, at any rate.

“Fair enough,” he replied and the corners of Sherlock's lips even curved up a bit as the two men shared a look of mutual understanding. Greg then pulled out his mobile to phone the incident in to Scotland Yard. Since no magic was involved, it could easily be filed as a cut and dry case of an interrupted B & E/Home Intrusion where reasonable defensive force was used. Greg also decided to leave Mrs. Hudson out of his report completely since, according to Hermione, she would be completely healed after a good night’s sleep and would no longer remember the unfortunate event, anyway. Plus, Greg felt confident that the man probably had enough priors or outstanding warrants that he would still get put away for a good long while...even without the older woman's testimony. 

Meanwhile, Hermione took care of Mrs. Hudson until she was completely pain-free and unmarked from her ordeal and was able to slumber peacefully. Afterwards, she also tweaked the memory of the intruder to insure that anything magical that he might have seen or heard would appear as simply ordinary and mundane to him...but not before she gave in slightly to her darker side and sent a few stinging hexes his way to relieve her anger at his rough treatment of her favorite landlady. She knew that she should not have done it, but nobody was perfect...and Greg had been looking in the opposite direction. She did not bother to ask if that had been intentional on his part. 

Afterwards, since it was very early on a typical chilly and foggy morning in London, she made sure that she had pots of both hot tea and coffee waiting for the uniforms on duty who came to collect the man. There was a reason, after all, that the thoughtful woman was universally liked around the Yard. Plus, not only was Special Investigator Granger-Lestrade admired for being the wife of their respected superior, but they all knew that she was a truly capable detective in her own right. In fact, she could solve strange cases that not even the Freak could. In addition to all of that, she had also somehow managed to become close friends with the pain-in-the-ass consulting detective and could occasionally get him to act like an real human being when nobody else could. He had even been the best man at the Lestrades’ wedding! It was all quite impressive, and even though none of them could really understand the appeal of the relationship, they all knew that the three detectives were now inseparable…like really strange peas in a misshapen pod. They worked well together, however, and always solved the case...so that was all that really mattered in the end. 


End file.
